A Guide for Bleach Addicts
by Siphor
Summary: Sixty-three different signs of Bleach overdose. Think you're an addict?


A/N: Fanfiction was being an ass and erasing all of my numbers. Anyone know how to fix that?

Disclaimer: Nope. I own nothing, although my Ulquiorra cell phone accessory and chibi Grimmjow postcard are pretty cool.

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You **know** you're addicted to Bleach when you…

1. Giggle every time you hear the word "strawberry".

2. Memorize all of the Bleach opening and ending songs

3. … despite not understanding a word of what you're singing.

4. Start making references to Bleach in daily life or quoting Bleach characters…

5. … and actually expect other people to understand them.

6. Shout "It's Urahara!" whenever a suspicious looking man tries to give you candy.

7. Take an umbrella out from you closet and brandish it about wildly, shouting "Block the rain! Umburellu!" while you open it.

8. Doodle random Bleach characters and items in math class.

9. Or in any other class.

10. Walk up to someone in archery class and say, "For the pride of the Quincy!"

11. Shoot kido spells at people you dislike, taking time to chant the entire incantation word for word.

12. Call people "midget," strawberry," "hat-and-clogs," and "pineapple".

13. Ask your teacher if you can sit by the window, so you can watch Ichigo and his friends run out of the building.

14. Tell your teacher "My stomach hurts!" when your cell phone goes off in the middle of class and run out of the door.

15. Sneak up on somebody eating a Mento and ask, "So where's the hollow?"

16. Remodel an old Pez dispenser so that it has a bunny head.

17. Can spit out random quotes from almost any character on command.

18. Start referring to your female friends as "woman" and people you dislike as "trash".

19. Hoard all the stuffed rabbits in the house and tell your siblings "Don't touch my Chappy!"

20. Point to every black cat you see and shout happily "Yoruichi! Urahara is looking for you!"

21. Gasp dramatically after being stung by a bee and exclaim "Help! SoiFon got me!"

22. Dash outside and look for Toshiro every time it snows.

23. Know more about the characters than you do about your friends.

24. Stick your hand into an outlet and shout "Hadou 4: Byakurai!" while being electrocuted.

25. Dress up in black robes for Halloween and get pissed off when people think you're the Grim Reaper.

26. Stop believing in heaven and start believing in the Soul Society.

27. Think that "Don't make me go Bankai on your ass!" is actually a valid threat.

28. Are convinced that pink flower petals and hairclips are the epitome of manliness.

29. Become depressed because you discover that Bleach movies take months to get onto YouTube.

30. Try to learn Japanese just so you don't have to wait for episodes to be subbed.

31. Search for a Bleach character on Facebook…

32. … And instantly add anyone who comes up to your friends list.

33. Work your way through 20+ pages of fanfictions when you should be working on homework.

34. Ask the teacher why "shinigami" isn't on your list of career options.

35. And decide to add it when he/she fails to.

36. Spend five minutes trying to correctly pronounce "Hiryugekizokushintenraiho**".**

37. Actually knew what I was referring to in the previous symptom.

38. Spend all your allowance money on a real sword, which you decorate and name.

39. Squeal when you find out that you share a birthday with a character.

40. Greet you friends by saying "Holy crap, did you read the latest Bleach chapter?"

41. Consider Aizen and the Espada to be a greater threat than Iraq.

42. Prefer the guys in Bleach over 3-D boys (or vice versa).

43. Jump into swimming pools shouting, "Splash, Hyourinmaru!"

44. Put on flower hairclips and run around saying "I reject!"

45. Think that the Soul Society is trying to contact you whenever you see a butterfly.

46. Are sent to a mental institution for spending hours trying to talk to aforementioned butterfly.

47. Honestly don't understand why you were put in the mental institution.

48. Don't surprise your family or friends anymore when you shout "BANKAI!"

49. Ask a bald guy if he carries around a wooden sword and act disappointed when he says no.

50. Have stopped reading traditional books because you want to devote all your time to Bleach.

51. Privately think of Byakuya when the flower girl walks down the aisle at a wedding, then laugh at the mental image of him in a dress, causing everyone to look at you disapprovingly.

52. Start coming up with Japanese names for all your friends.

53. Put down "fellow Bleach fan" as one of the required fields for a partner.

54. Start saying "Ichigo's video was better!" whenever someone talks about Naruto.

55. Grab a lighter and ignite the flame while shouting "Hadou 31: Shakkaho!"

56. Get into intense debates with other Bleach fans about whether the manga or anime is better.

57. Try to turn every song you hear into a songfic.

58. Take a white T-shirt and write "iBankai" on it.

59. Proudly flaunt your masterpiece at school the next day, unaware of the odd stares you receive.

60. Discover that you have developed a phobia of women with big boobs.

61. When asked for your role model or idol, promptly reply with your favorite Bleach character.

62. Cause your art/sculpture teacher to think you're insane, because you keep on drawing/sculpting people in black robes with swords.

63. Laugh and nod as you read this list, because you know it's true.

And last of all…

You know you're addicted to Bleach when you take the time to leave a review for those who write fanfiction! ;)

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Any ideas for additions to this list are welcome. So what are you waiting for? Be a Bleach addict!


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